To Blend or not to Blend…

I’m currently having a little break in Romania. A different country, a different culture and different ways of doing things – even the ordinary things. When you travel to another culture you tend to keep your eyes open to see how things are done. At the petrol station – do you wait for someone to come and fill your car or is it self service? Turns out it can be either. Zebra crossings – do you stop to let people across? Here, generally you do, whereas in Turkey they are just there to decorate the road surface (and in Poland all pedestrians only use the crossing and only when the green light is showing, even if there’s no traffic in sight).

In shops and restaurants you can often find things are done slightly differently, and the aim is to suss out how things are done so that you achieve what you want to achieve and so that you don’t constantly stick out like a sore thumb. Being able to ‘blend in’ makes life a whole lot more convenient once you learn the do’s and dont’s. When you are in a different country you start of by being watchful for those do’s and dont’s, but after a while they become commonplace for you and you just naturally go with the flow. You have managed to ‘fit in’, ‘to conform’ and hopefully not to attract attention wherever you go.

In a new country it is a conscious thought process that with time becomes an unconscious thought process. In our home country, it is nearly always an unconscious thought process that allows us to fit in, conform and not attract attention to ourselves for being somehow different from the norm. And we do like to fit in and be accepted.

I saw a video of an experiment carried out in a lift. There were doors on opposite sides of the lift compartment but one side was clearly marked as the only working exit from the lift. A random person gets in at the ground floor and faces the labelled door for when the lift arrives at their eventual floor. On the next level a number of other people enter the lift. These people are part of the experiment – they are actors. They all turn to face the exit door that is not working. Eventually, the random person who got in on the ground floor slowly turns to face the other door – simply doing what everyone else is doing. The pressure to conform and not stand out is immense.

So the question is, what am I doing? Am I conforming? Am I conforming to a narrative set by the majority when actually I should be different. Romans 12 says we should be transformed (changed, different) but not conformed. How would I know if I am conforming to the wrong narrative? If I sit and think about it, some things may become obvious where I give tacit approval to what goes on around me, or where I ‘go with the flow’. I could ask other mature believers to point out where I am indistinguishable from the crowd.

Maybe a list of do’s and dont’s would do the trick. Many churches have tried that – regularly instructing the flock in the essential do’s and don’ts of the Christian Life. The trouble with that is that it ends up as behaviour management and there is no Life in that. Avoiding the negative doesn’t necessarily lead to the positive. It leaves you mid-way between. In neutral.

Romans 12 talks about being transformed by the renewing of our mind. Our minds were never meant to be in neutral. Thinking differently is what it means here. And thinking differently leads to living differently. But thinking differently in what way? How? Oh for a list; that would make it easy! No it wouldn’t. It would bring death not life and Jesus came to give us Life, not a list. So what’s the answer then?

I read this by T Austin Sparks in his book ‘God’s Spiritual House’ – and here, I am summing up what he says:

‘Jesus is exalted – in heaven. He is exalted to the highest place. Every Angel, every demon, every spiritual ruler, Satan included can see that Jesus is exalted. But until He is exalted properly in us, in me and you, and therefore in the Church, He is not yet fully exalted’.

As I thought about this I realised that the Angels and demons and Spiritual powers can see this. The more that Jesus is exalted in my life, the more cheerful the Angels are and the more depressed the demons and Satan become. It seems only natural that Jesus should be exalted in His heaven, but as far as Satan is concerned, it goes right against the grain that Jesus should be exalted in me, or in any of us.

But what does Jesus exalted in my life look like? Being regular at church, praying a lot, being a good person, reading my Bible a lot….. what else should we put here?? Whoaa! Before you know it we have a list again. Do’s and dont’s.

How about we go back to the WWJD days? Do you remember that? The little bracelet with WWJD that we wore that meant to provoke us to ask “what would Jesus do” ….in this situation. It was a good attempt, but the trouble is it ends up directing us to the list again – the do’s and dont’s. What would He do versus what wouldn’t He do.

And the truth is He was unpredictable. Still is! Who could have predicted he would put spit in a man’s eyes to heal his blindness and heal others with blindness with simply a word? If you are going to pray for a blind person WWJD leaves you in a quandary. Spit or pray?

The real question becomes, what is Jesus saying to me now? Now that’s a whole different ball game. That relies on knowing Him. Knowing Him takes time. It means learning to listen for Him (those inner prompts and nudges that ‘came out of nowhere’ that in your heart you know are Him) and then obeying them before you let your logical mind loose to dissect and neutralise those prompts. It means obeying what you know from scripture as well.

A good husband gets to know what pleases his wife partly through what she tells him, and partly through just being around her all the time and picking up the little nudges and prompts. Sometimes the husband will get it wrong! Then he has a choice. He can either sulk, blame somebody else (his wife) or he can learn from his mistake. It’s the same with learning to know Jesus. Here’s an example from my life….and it’s about learning from mistakes too.

Before I came to Romania I had a bit of a nudge about praying for someone with a twisted foot. I call it a nudge or a prompt, but it was just a thought that came out of nowhere and kept coming back. As I thought about it, in my head, it was a child but if I am brutally honest the very first impression I got was twisted feet – full stop. All the time I have been here I have kept half an eye out for a child with a twisted foot. Nothing. Then one day walking down the street in Tecuci, a small town in NE Romania, a lady on sticks hobbled past with a young (12 yr old?) daughter. As she passed I looked back and the lady’s feet were twisted outwards so that she was practically walking on her ankles.

As she hobbled on her way I stopped and had a little argument with myself…. “Well it’s not a child….well what if the child bit is just your imagination going further than what God said?.…well what are you going to do Williams? ….well you had a nudge about twisted feet – what do you call those?….well you can’t just walk away….” It only took 40 seconds for the internal discussion but I am disappointed that I even hesitated to have it.

I turned and went after them and caught up with them. They were Gipsy Romanian. I asked if they spoke English. The girl did. I asked if I could pray for mums ankles. She explained to mum who replied very definitely No. “I am Romany. No pray”. This is where I fluffed it. I should have explained that if she let me pray, Jesus would heal her but instead I just accepted her answer and blessed her and left.

Conclusion? I heard a prompt from God. Then I got two things wrong. 1) I hesitated and, 2) I was not clear enough with the lady about the outcome that God was offering.

I need to learn from this….becoming far more responsive and and thorough with whatever God says.

I bet you too have times when God has quietly nudged you “this is the way, walk in it” and you find yourself not walking that way…or not just yet! And it could be over the smallest thing like letting someone in front of you in a queue, or letting a car out ahead of you. Opportunities to grow in knowing Jesus better. And when we fail, opportunities to learn because His end goal is that we become just like Him.

Then, He is truly Exalted. We have two narratives to listen to. One is the worldly narrative which is prescriptive, restrictive, leads to bondage and demands that you blend in. The other is a free flowing conversation between two inseparable friends, you and Jesus, that leads to freedom and life and results in you standing out from the crowd. Which one are we going to pay attention to?